9. When confronted by the police, take the advice on the back of my card:
1. FIRST, ask to call your lawyer
2. Be courteous; do not resist
3. Do not consent to search or entry
4. Do not talk about anything; do not admit OR DENY anything.
5. As if you are free to go If you are, GO.
I have a variation of this for use when you are approached by an officer who wants to grill you about something, but you aren’t caught in the act or even holding. It comes up, for example, when you mail a package that gets intercepted, and you know they will be coming to ask you about it because you weren’t smart enough to disguise your identity when you sent it. Just an example. First, you ask, “What’s this about?” Then, no matter what the answer, you ask to speak to your lawyer. Period. It’s simple and it works. I don’t care if they tell you that what this about is searching the moon for the green cheese you left there. Don’t tell them you hate green cheese and you’ve never been to the moon. Tell them you’d like to speak with your lawyer.
If the police persist in bullying you, just show them my card. (You can carry it for free). Don’t say “I know my rights.” That’s sure to piss them off. The best way to demonstrate convincingly that you understand your rights is to EXERCISE THEM!!! Shut the fuck up. If all else fails tell them that you must follow the advice on your card, since I told you “if you don’t take my advice, I double the price.”
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